disintegration [stay on my side tonight]

so ben has been talking to this 17 year old girl & hung out with her the past two friday nights.

i got 2 xanax from friends at work. i freaked out after he called me with money issues the other morning, so i took one. it was nice. after i took it, i felt like i should care about it all, but i just.... didn't.

i thought i would take one tonight, but i haven't yet. i smoked instead after allie finally fell asleep. yeah, i went 4 months without smoking any pot. but well.... it definitely helps calm me down....

some LAME movie is on FOX. i should just finish LOST season 1 again, since i borrowed it from rob on DVD like, forever ago now.

i feel hungry. i couldn't eat much all day. my stomach was in knots.

in brighter news today, i am looking forward to seeing circa survive & thrice on monday night. i hope anthony green plays some stuff from his upcoming solo album.